So looking back at 2009: Dave was cooking a lot but still tired. He would make soup and wonderful dinners. We spent New Year's Eve and Day at home and were watching movies in bed.
2010: It was 52 degrees New Year's Eve. I stopped by the Lester's and then had a camp fire with the neighbors...including some fireworks.
It's all right to cry, to question, to be weak. Beware of allowing yourself to be "put on a pedestal" by others who tell you what an inspiration you are because of your strength and your ability to cope so well. If they only knew! (On Dealing With Death by Father Kenneth Czillinger)
It's all right to cry, to question, to be weak. Beware of allowing yourself to be "put on a pedestal" by others who tell you what an inspiration you are because of your strength and your ability to cope so well. If they only knew! (On Dealing With Death by Father Kenneth Czillinger)
I've been saying all year that 2010 is/was the year for me. It was just the beginning, this is the year I move forward and begin my new life. Above is a quote from a post from Lory's Place. This is a local grief counseling place. I think what it means is we're all just getting through and coping the best we can. There have been many ups and downs since 101010 and they are all normal for me as well as you. It doesn't mean I'm slipping back, it means I'm moving forward. I just have to remember to follow my heart...there's still a calm, Dave's still there if I listen and will be always.
peace, love, groove
When I quit smoking I learned so much about myself, how one minute I was all fired up, ready to take the challenge & win then, the next ready to throw it all away for one smoke. Recently I discovered a new life, when I come back to the old life I see how the “usual suspects” new buzz word, are still wallowing in the same old sorrows. These people use Dave’s passing as an excuse for their daily substance abuse. I realize I was going there also, not partying but having a cloud over my head, I thought it kept Dave alive. I now feel like Dave is telling me to move on and not wallow in it! He wants me to live and love on just like a new song as it is played or learned, new. We all knew him and that bonds us together but life in this world goes on, life has more to offer and there is more to accomplish, more to do. Dave was a very progressive person & I know he would tell us all to move and love on, to go forward and discover the new in friends and all things. Thanks for being that way Dave!
ReplyDeleteJohn
"I realize I was going there also, not partying but having a cloud over my head, I thought it kept Dave alive. I now feel like Dave is telling me to move on and not wallow in it! He wants me to live and love on just like a new song as it is played or learned, new."
ReplyDeleteAmen, John. When he blessed me with that visit the day of his tribute, that is exactly the mood/feeling he was sending across - "I'm ok"....which extends to, "You all be ok too".
Moving on will never mean forgetting him, or all that he meant to each of us. PLG
I realize now how humane and compassionate Dave was in seeing us all out. I acted like it was ending and he was in the beginning. I thought of it in black & white & not in the abstract or percentages. Dave new that music was not perfect, it is a tempered scale. We often talked about how the composer has to fool the listener, how the ascending scales acts differently than the descending as also chord progressions. Dave did not need the book for this & I would have to go home and look it all up and there it would be! I can feel him warming me up, prodding me to get off it and live, and thinking of Dave makes life worth living, like how he cared about the kids playing basketball across the street & how many people even look at their neighbors, and the young musicians & how he knew to pass the torch. Love you Dave.
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