What a great weekend filled with friends and music and family and cookies. I recorded Byran Lubecks intro and performance of a Dave Maki song Saturday night. I went with the Lesters, Schimans and Catherine T. It was great to see many other friends there including Jeri and Ed, most of the band members and Dave Carlock. I got to meet in person the friend from Chicago who really helped me arrange Dave meeting Chick Corea. Then the cookie party on Sunday. From 1989 to 2011....wow! It was a wonderful night with great cookies.
I've mentioned that this is a hard holiday season for me. It just seems that I cry a little more often. Hearing Dave's music just hits me right in the heart. Although I've shared a lot, I've kept some things in I guess. A good friend says I need to work this to move ahead and I guess that's right. Now how to do that? Well, I'm going to go back and start reading posts from years past about the same time of year....see if I can remember what I forgot or left out. Here we go....
December 2009- We were getting ready for the cookie party and Dave had just had his last chemo. The night of the cookie party Dave attended the second annual "anti- cookie party party". He was not feeling well. I remember wondering if I should cancel the party and having a couple people to offer to have it at their house....stubborn me. I just wanted the holiday season to feel "normal". Dave didn't do well at the party. I was so sad he couldn't enjoy himself, he just wanted to be with his friends.
December 2010- Thinking a lot about Dave and how the holiday's would never feel normal again...just going through the steps.
2011- Thankful for family and friends, I'm trying to figure out the next steps. How do I move forward, my best friend is gone. Just what do single adults do now a days???? Not that I'm jumping out there, just sayin' it's been 27+ years.
peace, love, groove
Hi Lee:
ReplyDeleteI there with ya, just that I wasn't married to him. With most of the Burns and Dave gone it leaves a large hole & I thought the same thing, the holidays will never be the same. I drive by Church Street and everyone is gone! Now you will be in Florida and more is gone! That Christmas song I have to listen to in private right now, I just lose it.
I haven't listened yet this year, John....putting off the 'losing it', I guess. Cause I know I will.
ReplyDeleteLee, I'm so sorry your best friend is gone. As much as you may feel his presence at times, obviously it's not the same. I wish I could tell you how to move forward. Keep going through the steps, maybe, trusting that one day it won't feel so forced anymore?
xoxo
Tim the tool man is from Kalamazoo and his sister teaches nursing at KVCC & she lost her husband to a brain tumor. He stated out with blurred vision at the kids birthday party & a half a year later he was gone. I ask her now and again how it is going; I think it has been about five years. Her answer is that she manages it; I think she is dating now also but you have to give it time & be mobile. There is a whole world out there waiting for you to be ready, no manual for this!
ReplyDeleteThanks John and Mimi. I think it's good for us to talk about it. PLG
ReplyDeleteLook at it this way...tough as it is, Dave's life here on earth ended, but yours has not. There is still a lot of life to be lived, God/whatever-you-believe-in willing, and you will in due time. No need to rush. I wasn't privy to any conversations between the two of you, but the Dave I knew wants you to fully live again, when you are ready.
ReplyDeleteI know Dave gets it & wants you to live on; it was for him when he was on the exit path but now it is for you & the living. No need to rush like Mimi said and you will know when it is time for new Love or anything. I don't know when I got past Barb but I did & I knew I did sometime.
ReplyDelete