The End of August

...and the busiest month of the summer for me.  The second week I went with the Lester's to the UP.  A quick trip that included a boat trip under the bridge and to Mackinac island.  Then Julie and I spent most of a day on the island bicycling around, eating a great meal by the water and touring the Grand Hotel.  I even found a new sweatshirt.  The third weekend brought a very quick trip to Vegas to see YES with a college friend and VIP tickets.  It was amazing to sit in the front row and meet the band.  

Last week I had to have a small outpatient procedure, which meant I  had to cancel a short trip for a Maki-Routsinoja reunion in Wisconsin early September since all of my vacation time was all used up.   Although I readied for the day like every other adventure this month, I found myself feeling very alone and emotional.  I suddenly wasn't sure how to keep fear from taking over.  Of course the Maki family and great friends were by my side.  Work and travel plans were changed so I wouldn't really be alone.  Although thankful, I couldn't stop thinking "how did I end up single" and "this wasn't in the plan". Well the bottom line is I should be fine and I did make it through with family and friends, but will it be easier next time?  That is one of the questions that seem to continue on.....the doubts that stay in the background.  10-10-12 will be here before I know it.  

A very good friend gave me the book "The Year of Magical Thinking" last year and told me to read it when I was ready.  I've started reading and I will finish it.  I don't know all of the answers the future will bring, not sure who really does.  It continues to be *one day at a time*.


peace, love, groove