What will 2012 bring?

Pictures:   YaYa's together at Julie Lester's - Liz, Catherine, Lee, Joni, Sue and Julie in front of the Cocktail Tree

Another week has gone by.  The dogs are doing so much better.  Ruthie is even kissing Nikki and Nikki is being so good at doggie day care that they compliment her when I pick her up.  Tonight we met at Julie's house and just talked.  It was so good to be together and share.  What a gift it is to have YaYa sisters!    And we have SNOW!  I think it stopped snowing, but we had gentle snowfall most of the day and the roads are somewhat slippery.  It's hard not to think about spring coming and getting ready for summer.  I think I should get the X-mas decorations away and organized first.


peace, love, groove

Prospective

2010-  We went to Avatar 3D and had a camp fire on January 17..it was 40 degrees.  I was heading up to Traverse City and Dave had a practice with Bryan Lubeck (he was driving then).  He was only taking the study drug.

2011- I went to The King's Speech with the other Makis, the Kings and Lesters.  Some of us got together and went through old pictures talking about Dave's Spectrum band days.  I went to Czars with friends and saw one of Dave's favorite groups.  And the dogs and I had a campfire in the snow.

Tonight I went to Lori's Place to a grief support group meeting. I mostly listened.  There were people in all stages of grieving.  I just thought it would be good to know more people that really understand losing a spouse.  I think I'll keep going and I'm sure it will help me.  One woman talked about how she doesn't go out with any friends.  So I realize, again,  that I have so many wonderful friends who listen and remember Dave with me.    Love you all and time for bed.

peace, love, groove                                  

And it's 2012!

2010- Dave was cooking and feeling better.  We went to see Sherlock Holmes (the first one was out!)

2011-  I was starting to feel more acclimated to work back at Lakeland.

2012- The dogs are doing so much better and getting along.  I went to Florida for New Year's...GREAT TIME and good experience.  It was nice to just sit by the pool and read in the sun.  I've been reading about starting over again and think joining a support group would be a good idea.  Mostly I've learned and realized that this roller coaster is normal and I'm heading in the right direction.  I will always love Dave Maki....my best friend, but as John as been writing life keeps going and Dave does want us all to keep living.  I have said many times that 2011 was the "year of me", 2012 is the year to live.


peace, love, groove

The Old Year And The New One

So looking back at 2009:  Dave was cooking a lot but still tired.  He would make soup and wonderful dinners.  We spent New Year's Eve and Day at home and were watching movies in bed.

2010: It was 52 degrees New Year's Eve.  I stopped by the Lester's and then had a camp fire with the neighbors...including some fireworks.


It's all right to cry, to question, to be weak. Beware of allowing yourself to be "put on a pedestal" by others who tell you what an inspiration you are because of your strength and your ability to cope so well. If they only knew! (On Dealing With Death by Father Kenneth Czillinger) 

I've been saying all year that 2010 is/was the year for me.  It was just the beginning, this is the year I move forward and begin my new life.  Above is a quote from a post from Lory's Place.  This is a local grief counseling place.  I think what it means is we're all just getting through and coping the best we can. There have been many ups and downs since 101010 and they are all normal for me as well as you.  It doesn't mean I'm slipping back, it means I'm moving forward.  I just have to remember to follow my heart...there's still a calm, Dave's still there if I listen and will be always.

peace, love, groove

12/21/11

Today would have been Dave's 54th birthday.  There have been dozens of great comments on his facebook page, which I've kept open. Although there have been many tears today, I see a glimmer of the old Lee coming back.  The journey back from this "nightmare" that was also a blessing....an opportunity we would have missed.  To really understand friendship and love.  To make the most of the time we had.  This may sound sorta cliche, but I feel comforted by it as well as all of the comments made to Dave on facebook.  I hope with all of my heart that he's aware of the love coming his way.  I hope I know the answer to that someday.


peace, love, groove

The Week Before Christmas

Looking back over the last two years:

2009 Dave was eating well and had great test results with many of the tumors missing in action...for awhile.  It was mostly a normal Christmas and Dave made a Crown Roast on Christmas day.

2010 I'm still tired, I had pizza on Dave's birthday.  It felt like Dave was with me but somehow like a fog.

Now- Wednesday is Dave's Birthday.  He would have been 53.  I'm going to Team Trivia with friends and family.  I can't think of anything better to do.....beer and questions.  The fog has been lifting slowly and I know I need to nourish my soul and get back to being just Lee.  Still, I miss him everyday.

peace, love, groove

The Holiday Season Continues- reading past years

I continue reading past years....
12/09 - Dave was getting blood and platelets and there was a Mister Edd gig at the Box Factory around this time in 2009.  No matter how tired he was, playing music was the best for Dave.  I was always "on duty" when he played....watching every move in case he needed something.  He knew I was there for him.  I'm not sure right now when his last paid gig was.  I'll find out as I'm reading. The last time he played was the 70's party.
12/10- party season about a year ago.  Cookie party, ET nurse party, book club party.  Glad I was busy then.

The dogs seem to be doing better between day care and lessons.  Tim came by Friday to help me put stakes in front of the fences.  When he left the house, Nikki just sat there....no chasing.  I also caught Nikki kissing Ruthie and she was okay with that.  I'm very hopeful.

I still have decorating to finish up before Christmas Eve, but I got a lot done today.  We have a dusting of snow, well maybe 1/4 of an inch.  The sun melted the snow this afternoon over the new driveway and walkway.  That's pretty cool and there wasn't mud.  Yeah!  Time for bed.

peace, love, groove